Yummy

I think I'm too lazy to write today so there is nothing like sharing a good story. I found this on Cnn.com and felt pretty good about my personal hygiene.

BANGKOK, Thailand (Reuters) -- Doctors found around 50 maggots in the ears of an 84-year-old Thai man after he went to hospital complaining of an itch.

"We believe flies might have gone inside his ears to lay eggs, which hatched into larvae and caused the itching," said Somsak Nonthasri, the doctor who treated him.

I thought this article would be helpful to anyone who has been having an itch recently :)

-Lemiwinks

Having a new Pope makes me wonder, "What would the world be like with a great Rabbi?"

Although I haven't exactly been the most religous jew since my 13th birthday, I still do cosider myself a jew. I figure, "eh, it's better than a Catholic" Except recent events have made me think. "Why the hell do the Catholics get a huge party?!" The most sacred man in their religion dies and like a week later it's a multi thousand person block party! Maybe I'm in the wrong religion after all (this of course based on my standards that the best religion is the one that can party the hardest). I'm in the religion where you become a man the fastest which I always viewed as a huge plus. When I was 14 my pick up line "hey baby, wanna be wiith a REAL man?" never really worked. So hmmm, I wonder what the world would be like with a jewish Pope.

The name
I guess we can;t call our great Jewish leader the pope, thats already taken. So how bout some suggestions:
The JEW (short and sweet)
Rabbi Reuben -this of course will cover deli sandwiches which jewish people hold so close in their culture. mmmmmmmm, Kosher pickles
Big Briss- Briss is the jewish ceremony of circumcision

Duties
I think jews are doing pretty well off without a leader. Our pay back for the Holocaust was stealing Hollywood and pretty much all the decent high paying jobs. Ask your Dr. and lawyer if he's jewish, if not, congratulate him for breaking through the system.
So what should a jewish leader do?
Prolly cut out alot of coupons, although he can afford to throw away $ and maybe go to alot of restaurants, and send the food back, no matter what and say it's not hot enough

I guess in the end the jews don't need a leader. I guess we are ok how we are....but it would be fun to pick one....I don't even know who I'd pick. Who would you pick?

-Lemiwinks

Lemiwinks is ALWAYS improving. There's a new comment box directly below this. Click on it and comment away!

Cops get 10,00 people, and I'm unimpressed

I just got done viewing CNN.com (which back in the states I do several times a day) and the following news made front page:

"More than 10,000 fugitives from justice have been captured in a nationwide, weeklong dragnet, law enforcement sources said."

Impressive number but as my roomate James Schuelke responded in the cops behalf "lets have a week where we do our jobs"

10,000 bad guys wanted for various crimes were roaming around our streets yesterday and today they are not...woopdifreakindoo.... Here are some statistics of those round up:
162 accused or convicted of murder
638 wanted for armed robbery
154 gang members
106 unregistered sex offenders

According to my beloved cnn.com fugitives were picked in every state including puerto rica and guam. The best piece of news to come out of this story:
"Some targets were considered especially dangerous. In one case, an armed man was found in a cave under a trap door in his kitchen floor." Yeah I'd say hiding in a cave beneath your house with some loaded weapons is pretty dangerous. What is this guy doing? He's just randomly got a cave beneath his house? How awesome is that? I wonder if he's got a opening for the batmobile and a giant Television to see whats going on in Gotham.

Here is a great quote from a lawenforcement source : "Just about anybody with a badge and a set of handcuffs was asked to help out, and they did," said another official familiar with the operation.

So let me get this straight, I don't know if I believe it...people with police badges and handcuffs decided to actually USE THEM? NO WAY! Maybe we can make an annual event out of this called "Cops actually do job and stop eating doughnuts week". I don't feel safe, i feel cops are worthless and they proved it today.

Next time you get pulled over tell the cop "Hey man, I heard about that week you guys did your job. Well done" and refer them to CNN. It won't get you out of the ticket, but it sure will feel good.

Hope your staying fugitive free!

-Lemiwinks
LEMIWINKS IS ALWAYS IMPROVING
Although my liver my not be improving in London the Lemiwinks website is! You can now comment on ANY GIVEN post. So now when I say Vanilla icecream rocks, and I don't mind occasional male hugs, you can comment below with something like "You don't know what yo talkin' bout foo or wow, remind me to stay far away from you" Just click on the comments thingy below this and COMMENT AWAY

C is for cookie and that IS good enough for me

How many of you have heard of this story?
It was reported last week that the Cookie Monster, from our beloved show Sesame Street has decided to tell the loving fat ass children of America he has a NEW MESSAGE.
Instead of "C is for cookie, thats good enought for me" He now sings and dances to the following lyrics "A cookie is a sometimes food" and continued to tell a story of what sometimes foods and everything foods are!

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO OUR COUNTRY?!!!!!!

I feel that the cookie monster we once knew and loved is dead, and in Memory...I have posted the lyrics to the one and only Cookie monster song that I will ever recognize and respect

The Cookie Monster I know and Love

C is for Cookie, that's good enough for me
C is for Cookie, that's good enough for me
C is for Cookie, that's good enough for me
Oh Cookie, Cookie, Cookie starts with C

A round cookie with one bite out of it looks like a C
A round doughnut with one bite out if it also looks like a C
But it is not as good as a cookie
Oh, and the moon sometimes looks like a C,
But you can't eat that!

So, C is for Cookie, that's good enough for me
C is for Cookie, that's good enough for me
C is for Cookie, that's good enough for me
Oh, Cookie, Cookie, Cookie starts with C

I love you cookie monster.....you have been good to us......
Goodbye

The Cookie Monster 1969-2005

I'm alive, Lemiwinks lives, just hibernating

Wow...it certainly has been awhile. So much has happened since I've been away and so many laughs while over here in bright sunny London. A popular question people keep asking me is "why did you come to London?" I answer swiftly "the sun and great beaches, obviously!" So lets see, I've done some traveling since I've last talked to everyone. Pub crawling in Berlin, Irish dancing in Cork, Fiesta in Valencia Spain as well as seeing an old friend in Bilboa. Been around jolly old Enlgand a little bit. Stonhenge looks the way I left it when I was 7 years old. (and the last millenuim for that matter). So how bout my thoughts on recent events:

The Pope died
I don't know if you've heard about this back in the US, but the Pope has gone to the great sea in the sky. Wow, what a jolly old man. I loved on ESPN how they through a sports spin on it, like people really cared. The greatest man in the catholic world passes away and ESPN has the following headlines.
A) all sports are canceled on Friday in Italy (like Americans are watching Italian sports in the first place)
and B) How the Pope was a great athlete.
I chuckled on the rediculousness of both these headlines and double clicked my mouse to CNN.com

Mitch Herberg passed away
Prolly one of the greatest comics of our generation. The man was burnt out on acid and heroine, and joked about it. Comedy can;t get much better than that. He was a one line king who got to die on April 1st, which most comics would like to hand pick. There is something just kinda funny about about a comic dieing on April 1st, just the way Mitch would have liked it. Check out funny stuff at Mitchhedberg.net

Chris Cotteta
Chris Cotteta is back in action. I don't know if he recently updated his amazing website or if I just haven't clicked on it in awhile but god damn this kid is good. he's a jazz player that looks like someone you have never seen before. And if that makes no sense. GOOD. you'll never understand the power of Chris Cotteta. He is currently in Philly and a star in Connecticut. He can be one of the few proud people to say "I have a theme song". Check out his music and memoirs at stickyfingers.com
Fav songs: New Toothbrush, Sticky Apple Fingers Jazz Orchestra

Brownbear has taken to the blogger scene
Brownbear is famous here on the Lemiwinks site and prolly has the record of not only being in the most amounts of stories, but has created them. To summerize his lifestyle, he is a grown brown bear, out in the wild, looking to mate and drink as much booze as possible with slight occasions of pissing on floors and creeping out girls. He makes me laugh and so does his blog. Check that shiznit out at The Brownbear Blog

Killer Dulce
While we are talking about good websites I cannot forget to include a website that gives your eyes a visual orgasm and your ears some sweet sweet love. Turned on yet? I'm currently living with a girl who is pretty god damn funny, clever, and muscially knowledgable. Natalie Sweet's Killerdulce.com is a sort of message board about the underground rock scene in Pittsburgh. Best part is when you are opening the site it states "booyah" as it loads. (a very cool touch) Natalie has done her best to try and convince me Pittsburgh is not the shitty city my roomate from philly has made it out to be and I think everyone should check out her boodalicous site killerdulce.com and learn about some bands you and I have have never heard of!

Les Miserables
I'll save everyone like 50 bucks by just summerizing the musical right now. It's a musical about a guy who likes this girl, somehow a revolution starts, this girl that likes the guy dies, oh, and so does everyone else, except the guy and the girl, and they live happily ever after. That summary is just like my book review's in 6th grade that went a little like this (acehm, clearing thoat) "My review of The pushcart War, By Ben Handelman....It sucked"
Bad music,bad story good voices, do yourself a favor and save your money and spend it on a better 3 hours of fun (like the circus). I was wondering how this musical has lasted so long and then I remembered how well a play about cats did and it all made sense.

OK, that actually turned into me reviewing current events and things I like. Well, while I'm at it I reccomend vanilla icecream and the color blue!

Hope everyone is doing alright over in the states:) -Lemiwinks