Yummy.......Cooked Rodent

A few days ago, while attempting to cook some delicous food my roomates noticed that our stove had stopped functioning. The buttons seemed to be on, but the heat had stopped running to our eletric stove. A call was put into our twenty something landlord, he said he'd be over in a few days with a repair man.

Today he walked in, akwardly sat down next to my roomate Jay as he played video games and waited for the repair guy. As soon as the repair guy came, they walked up to the stove......pulled it slowly away from the wall, and the problem was immediatly realized........

A MOUSE had climbed behind the stove and committed suicide by wedging himself in to the circuit box that fueld the electricity to the stove.....such a cruel way to die and according to Jay it was commented "well it appears mice aren't good conductors of electricity". I'll remember that little known fact to impress people at social gatherings. But it is clear this finding is disturbing and a war has been called against our fury housemates, and those who pay rent

Reminds Me of High School

This reminds me of a story of a nasty rodent affair back in the days of my youth. My house was in the middle of a quite nasty string of rodent run in's and my dad decided he was fed up......he bought an INDUSTRIAL sticky trap. Sticky traps really are cruel, a little pad with a sticky gel that attracts the rodent, and his hairy body sticks to it where I assume he just eventually starves to death. So my Dad bought this one, the size of a small cadillac....that said it could catch snakes, rats, etc.......one night I was awaken from a deep slumber....

I walked downstairs to see my two small dogs pawing at the cabinet my dad had placed the trap behind. I heared squeeking coming from the other side of the wood......I placed by whining dogs away out of harms reach, my dad at this point also woke up. We pulled the cabinet away from the wall..........we caught a mouse......we caught two mice......we caught 3 mice.......holly mother of GOD........the entire trap was FULL OF LIVING BREATHING MICE. Over 10+ in all ( I forget the exact number today) get the mother load, dead carcasses of two more were found in my tv room killed earlier by my dogs. It was the nastiest thing I think I have ever seen........so in rememberance of that night, I think I'm going to buy some mouse traps for my house before it comes to that

Keep rodent free
Lemiwinks

Fox News sat down with former President Bill Clinton to talk about his "initiative" to stop global warming, but when the man sat down for interview the conversation was anything but polution. Bill Clinton may have cheated on his wife and today I am guilty of exploding with pleasure after he called out Fox News for their one sided reporting. (so I apologize to my g/f) Check out this great interview! Original Source: http://onegoodmove.org/1gm/

Holly Shit

Just a second ago my roomate called me over.....asked me "Has this ever happened to you?" and showed me a picture of a toilet with diarrhea strewn about the bowl. He questioned me why I was so grossed out, and then apologized. But I am questioning how he took a nasty crap.......didn't wipe his messy ass........ran to his room......grabbed his camera.......for some unknown satinistic reason took a picture of it......and then showed me. He apologized, and I can't eat for days. THANKS. This has made me realiz my life is full of shit.

Some of my weirdest college experiences have come with fecal matter, like a photographic event of how I found a crap in my shower.....or how my suitemate sophmore year inturrupted me during homework, took me into the bathroom to show a piece of crap that came out of his ass and was the size of 4 linked sausages, or how my my friend drunkenly crapped in a public square...then proceeded to trip and fall in it. Heck I never knew people bragged about their PPD's until a couple weeks ago. PPD's standing of course for "Poops Per Day", another term new to me.

I am confused why people like talking about their shit........it's gross and crude. Not only that but it's meant to stay in the bathroom. And what goes on in the bathroom is something that needs to stay there. I've learned this from the real world because even THEY can't go in there.....or can they?

Anywho, I am writing this in hopes that if you take a shit, wear a shit, or may god help you eat a shit.....I don't want to know about it

-A disgusted Lemiwinks

Well This is awkward

Well it is always weird seeing new friends after long times of being apart. That mentality applies to the Lemiwinks and my home here at Blogger. Well this is it. My last year of college. Around 4 years ago I got bored late at night and created this thing. It has gotten countless readings (which was truly a shocker) and countless stories that will be remembered. As I sit here in my room thinking about what has happened in the last 4 years it's pretty clear alot of things haven't changed. It's 1am and I have no idea where half of my roommates are.......an empty pizza box that is several days is laying quite close to my feet.......and I'm not sure what the stains are all over my room. COLLEGE IS STILL ALIVE

Come On Over.....and Bring 100 of Your Closest Friends

This year I have moved away from my beloved Quinnipiac campus down the street to a large house. Due to town laws and possible legal ramifications I can't tell you how many people I actually live with.....but I can tell you it was a unanimous decision to start out the year with intoxicating as many of my friends as I could with a keg party.

Kegs are alot of fun. There is some mystery to a keg. Where does it come from? Has anyone ever seen the inside of one? Do they actually clean them out (urban legend)? And most importantly......What is going to happen tonight if I get a couple of them, put them on my porch, and tell everyone I know to come over and drink them.

After a very fun night all I can say is I am glad my neighbor is 99 and hard of hearing

The night ended with me picking up a tiki torch and leading an expedition down the street to a friends house who was also having a shindig. I felt like a character out of the goonies........or in an Indiana Jones movie.....and from what I remember, there is a very good possibility at the time I may have actually THOUGHT I was in some sort of cave movie

Suggestions for the night:

-If your house owns a giant jar of condoms.......hide them. They are hotter than 85 year old grandmothers buying powerball tickets
-When a friend of yours has taken upon the responsibility of holding the tap on the keg down for two hours.....don't ask why.....just let him tend.......let him tend
-It is not smart to start throwing ping pong balls in your fish jars for "practice"