A Tale of Yale

Free is never a bad thing
So I come back to school in Hamden, get settled in, go to class, party a little, realize I am horribly broke and think, wait a second, there is fountains and fountains of FREE booze to the south! I hop on the "Q-pac shuttle" (as they call it at Yale) and head to see my best friend, Corey Morenz, for a good start to a school year in New Haven.

Corey Morenz is a unique individual. He is smart (never play the man in a game of jeapordy unless your name is ken jennings) athletic (Corey's arms are about the size of my entire body, lets just say I would never fight him) and a lucky lucky bastard. While I slaved away this summer serving people thousands of Deli sandwiches Corey Morenz was prolly at your house. He was at your house to pick up everything you wanted to get rid of, and he would buy it for a dollar. Mr. Morenz would then take all your crap and sell it on ebay for a 10,000 percent profit, and I hate him for it to this day......but I still love Corey so I hopped off the shuttle with brownbear and jon and went straight to his apartment.

Yale is an interesting place. Only at Yale will you find the only pushkart in the city which is not selling hot dogs and pretzels, but thai food. At Yale you would think you were at the most gorgeous school in the world until you step one block outside the school and dodge gang bullets. Half of the students at Yale never leave their room and resemble hermits who instead of collecting cats, study all the time. But don't worry, the other half of the Yalies make up for it and with the whistle sounding at half time of the Florida-Florida State game off we went to Sigma Alpha chi omega Delta (I forget the name of the frat but I'm sure some of those greek letters must be in the name) The frats at Yale never fail. The house, as prolly all frat houses do, resembles somewhat of a crack house. Unfurnished rooms which are dimly lit, "well used" floors and a back yard with no grass but an old cair (not a lawn chair, but a chair), and once I even saw a homless crack addict sneak in and dance. Perfect party house. I quickly made friends with bartender Adam and partyed away. 30 mins in Jon and brownbear decided they had seen too many enlarged brains and took the shuttle home. I stayed and pretended I went to Yale.

Things NOT to do while talking to someone who goes to yale, while pretending to go to Yale as well:
-Ask someone what kind of school organizations they are in when you don't know any in the first place. "I write for the YND" "oh, whats that" "....uh, the Yale daily news"
-pretend you know EXACTLY what they are talking about..."Yalie:the food is bad. Me: No way, you have to just try all the food, it's awesome"
-talk to someone for 25 mins and then have your friend Corey, who is standing right next to you, scream out at the top his lungs "THIS IS MY FRIEND BEN FROM QUINNIPIAC!!!!" while I continue to talk to the person like everything is normal.

In the end people figured out I wasn't from Yale and me and Corey had a good time so we left and I went home. On the way home someone threw up in the seat in front of me and I had to sit with my feet up the entire ride thinking how bad I felt for the person that had to clean it up.

Back at the Q

The following night I decided to throw a jungle juice party with my roomates. My suitemate left a blue light on the window. The RA's saw it and came into our room.....this is what they found

-50 poeople
-hundreds of cans of alcohol
-A stolen Quinnipiac 8 foot table
-more alcohol,
-and.........A GOLDEN RETRIEVER

Take lessons from the pros kiddies, leave the dog at home. Great weekend once again, the Jets even won! How's eveyone doing? I'd love to hear from ya in my guest book in the top left:)

-Lemiwinks

Dad that's my room there....with the loud music coming out of it...and umm, all those people?

My dad calls me: Hey Ben want to go to a Uconn football game? Sure dad sounds like fun
Leave campus, go to game, Uconn wins by a lot, go home, pet dog, go back to school.

NEVER ASSUME

So my dad in the car ride back goes "so can I see your dorm room" (my dad did not move me in. In my head I'm thinking, ok it's Saturday night, but it's 7:30. My room for the most part should be quiet and maybe a beer can or two around but my dad shouldn't care. I walk up to my building and point to my windows cause my room is on the ground level. I look closely at my room and hear loud music and see a blue light on in my room.......uhhhh
I'm thinking what the hell? What's going on here?
My dad doesn't seem to notice the situation he is about to walk in on, I know he is standing outside my room and there is no going back. I grimace and close my eyes as I open the door......

I walk into my common room to see 15 people standing there playing beer pong to loud blaring rap. I look around....hmmmmm, I don't know you, or you, or you, wait a second here...I don't know any of the 15 people partying in my room at 7:30 at night. So I tell my dad "I don't know any of these people" My dad kind of chuckles and sarcastically says "Yeah...ahuh, right. I'm gonna use your bathroom" The bad situation got worse....my bathroom smelled of a mix between urine and beer, plus there were hundreds of beer cans piled in the bathroom. In my head I'm thinking this is not good. My dad walks out of the bathroom and into my room which is trashed. Uh oh......he walks in and goes straight to my desk, where 3 beer cans lay on my desk. He looks around and picks up a picture that my friend Shannon had drawn the night before.It Reads:

Ben Handelman sober, and a picture of me with my hat on and clothed and smiling.
Ben Handelman not so sober, a picture of me with my pants around my ankles, me rapping, and someone calling me a queer.

God only knows what was going through my dads mind. I'm glad he now knows how is hard earned money is being spent at college. The one image I don't think I will forget for a long is my dad pushing though the crowd of unknown kids playing beer pong to try and escape from my room. My dad leaves, Rafal breaks up the party, the room is quiet 10 seconds after my dad leaves and a shake my head in shame.

I hope everyone is having a great labor day weekend!
-Lemiwinks

Welcome back

ROLL OUT THE RED CARPET, PLAY YOUR ENORMOUSLY GIANT HORNS, it's time to run down the street throwing confetti and ride some elephants cause lemiwinks is back at school!!!!

I swear, I'm not handicapped....but Brownbear is
At the end of last year me and 8 of my friends decided to go in the housing lottery together to get a suite together. We were screwed by the lottery system and told to regroup. So we added a friend and tried for the suites with 9. Once again we were laughed at by the quinnipiac and entered what I call uncharted waters. Mid way through the summer I was told I'd be in a suite of 9 with brownbear, jon, and 6 unknowns.......and there sets the stage for school....

I am the first to arrive and unknowing to me, I am living in a handicapped suite. I walk in and my room is enormous. I was very happy.....my roommates, even happier to find out I was not handicapped. (They had been living in my room for two weeks and feared everyday that they would have to live with the responsibility of living with a less abled roommate.) Brownbear and Jon arrive, the party known as higher education begins!

I'd like to take the time to welcome everybody back to their own institutions if they go to school. I urge you to do something crazy and write about it, or at least tell it to someone, like your parents. They like to know what's going on in your lives. Mine still ask me why I called the New Haven police department to get my fake id back!