It's not Texas Holdem.....I'ts Quinnipiac Holdme

Is poker a sport? What defines a sport? Some would say skill, competition, sweat, grit, and talent. Others would say something that requires you to hurt afterwords and bleed. I'm lazy. I like to sit on a couch and eat potato chips......so OF COURSE poker is a sport. I think everyone who is now enrolled in college and ESPN 2 agree with me.
Texas Holdem Poker

I never knew how to really play poker.....then I came to college. I think poker just fits in perfect with the college environment. College is a place where people like to do stupid things.....sex, drugs, get naked and run around your hall (hmmmm maybe that one is just my roommate), and of course THROW AS MUCH OF YOUR HARD EARNED CASH AWAY AS POSSIBLE. Poker, meet college......College, meet poker: LOVE

A night of shifty eyes and bluffing my bluffs
The setting: My dorm room
The players: 9 of commons 3rd floor best, huddled together like cold Eskimos awaiting their batch of raw fish around a 3 foot table
The game: No limit Texas Holdem Poker, $5 buy in, top 3 players win cash
The story: So I learned how to play poker, and I was bad. After losing a few times, I finally realized it was not smart to go all in on the third hand with a pair of two's, thinking no one would call. So tonight I was feeling lucky. I put on my lucky socks and underwear, actually I always wear my lucky underwear (it's hard and crusty, but not yet green so still good) and I'm off to an ok start but the competition is fierce.

Across from me is the heckler, Ryan Donlon, whose hobby is poker. He eats breathes and pukes poker chips. Next to me is my roomate shaddy eyes Jon Bingman, whose new love is party poker.com, not the female. The other 6 are all respectable as well.....Brown town, Bones, Chris, Mr. Bronxville himself Ryan M, Brian, and the rookie shawn. I win a few hands and quickly become chip leader. Suddenly they start to drop. First goes Chris, who shrugs and returns to college basketball. Then Ryan M, who cares less if he loses $5 and gidily skips to his room. Then Bones and Brown town, who go and praise each other on not winning in poker, but having cool nicknames. And finally the rookie shawn, who was just a rookie. Me, Jon, Donlon, and Brian are all that remain. 4th place goes home with nothing.......top 3 with money. After hours of shuffles, raises, bluffs, pairs, straights, flushes, flops, and my eyes still hurting from the 4 hours of sopranos I watched earlier in the day, Jon falls. JON FALLS. BWHAHAHAHA.......I somehow grab a top 3 (yet to be finished). I WIN! WHAT A GREAT FEELING........................

So then why do I lose at Tiger Woods 30 mins later and feel like a loser. Damn our competitive room. Gotta love Commons 324 . Leave some love in my guestbook:)

Dinner anyone?

I come from a family that can be very strange. I was expecting over my long break to have one, just one normal dinner. I am going to return to Quinnipiac on Sunday and I have learned one thing over break: Don't expect too much.

Just one of many weird dinner conversations in my household
The dinner table was set, the spoons placed nicely, the knives straightened, plates in order, and forks pointing the right way. My mother, brother and I sat down what should be a simple, 20 minute dinner. The entre for the evening was chicken fingers and fries. This should be a quick, fast paced, no room for error dinner; but thats just not how it works in my household. Somehow the topic randomly was placed on the topic of divorce.

"You and dad have been married a long time, there is still time for a divorce"(jokingly)
"I think me and your father are happily married, don't you?"
"Sure"

Simple enough........then why 5 seconds later is the conversation this.
"What?! Your saying that if me and dad were divorced you would rather live with your father?! I know thats not true!"
"No, I really think I would"
"No, your lieing, there is no way"(completly serious and upset my brother and I even said we'd live with my dad over her as a joke)

What the hell? People are not supposed to sit and discuss IF your house instantly becomes a broken home who would you live with. But that only seemed normal to the words uttered a few minutes later to end our dinner conversation.

"Scott, did you sexually molest the dog?"
"No, I just flicked and said 'DING'"

Ummmmmmmmmm, pass the ketchup please

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday and new years. I'm sorry I haven't written in my blog, but on my break of doing nothing it only makes sense i have done nothing. Don't worry, this class gerbil returns to school on Sunday and hours of aimless wandering around my 4 foot dorm room will get old. I will once again write about the pointless things that happen in my life. Hope to see you all signing my beautiful guest book soon.
-Lemiwinks, the class gerbil